Thu, 13 Jul 2006 19:10:33 GMT

The Orcish horde sat at the table while the horde’s chef dished out the food. At the end of the table there were two open seats. One at the way end of the table and one next to the left of that. The other seat next to the end seat, however, Grom Hellscream was seated. Sat, seat, seated. Too many seats, too much sitting, too little action. He had a rather impatient look on his face. He was waiting for his best friend and ally, Thrall, to arrive at the encampment. Thrall was bringing a guest of whom no one knew about, except Thrall himself. As everyone stared at the food that was placed in front of them each, they grew more impatient. Suddenly, all the Orcish warriors heard two wolf howls. “That must be them.” Grom said, sitting up, his mood brightening. Grom stood up from his chair to greet his brother and his mystery guest.

When he stepped out of the burrow, Thrall and his guest were dismounting their wolves. Grom walked over to Thrall. “Evening, Little Brother.” Ishnu-alah to you too. he said with a smile. “Who is your guest?” “Hello, Grom.” Thrall greeted back. Hearing the conversation, some of the Orcish warriors also stepped out of the burrow, to greet Thrall. “This is my daughter, Samei.” he said, referring to the guest he brought with him. Everyone stared at Samei, with astonishment. “Chu have a kid?” asked a troll headhunter. Thrall nodded. “She looks just like you, Thrall. How old is she?” asked Grok Bloodhorn, a Tauren Chieftain. “She’s twenty years of age.” *twitch* replied Thrall. “But she’s a woman! I don’t recall ever seeing a female in the horde.” I take it they found you in cabbage? stated a grunt. “Her mother was a night elf. Knew it. It’s a long story.” said a very exhausted Thrall. It was late. The horde hasn’t eaten yet and they were all tired. The horde entered the burrow once again and took a seat. Thrall and Samei filled the empty seats, next to Grom. The rest of the horde, besides Thrall, Samei and Grom, started filling their mouths with food. Samei stared at them while they “ate”. “Father… Do they always eat like pigs?” Sometimes like boars. she asked. Thrall laughed quietly. Samei started eating the food on her plate, still staring at the horde as they packed away the food into their mouths.

After dinner, the horde had a “Beginning of the Year” celebration. Troll Witchdoctors held a lightshow to show-off and entertain. The horde watched the magnificent lights in fascination as they flew up into the sky and illuminated the whole encampment. Samei however, was falling asleep. She stood up, said goodnight to Thrall and Grom and headed off to the sleeping quarters. Just before she arrived at the bunks, she spotted a raider (dismounted from his wolf, of course). Woof? The raider was chatting to a troll headhunter. Samei stared dreamily at the raider whom was still chatting. Samei approached the raider and troll headhunter until she was just behind the headhunter. “Hello there.” she said, startling the troll headhunter. “Aah! Chu scared me.” he said. “Oh, sorry!” Samei said. “You’re… Samei, right?” asked the raider. Samei nodded. “And you are?” “Bakara, Miss Samei.” said the raider, bowing slightly. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Long words. “Likewise.” Samei replied, smiling. Samei looked toward the headhunter. “I be Kaseem.” said the troll headhunter, also bowing. Samei and Bakara had a ten minute conversation before Samei greeted goodnight I greet you a good day. to Bakara and the Kaseem. It’s THE Kaseem. After Samei entered the sleeping quarters, Kaseem nudged Bakara. “She be crushing on ya hard, mon.” he said. “Hah, as if. She’s superior to me, there’s no way she’ll ever crush on me.” Hmm, I would suggest the author to finally decide if the orcs use high or low speech…

The next morning, Samei was awakened by her father’s voice. “Order! Order! All who agree to attack the undead legion, say “I”.” You changed, Thrall… There were several “I’s” from the crowd surrounding Thrall, who was standing on a platform. “All against, say “neigh”.” There were several “neighs” from the crowd. “We’re sorry to disagree, Warchief, But the undead will surely defeat us.” said a grunt. Many other warriors agreed with him. “It may be so, but the horde will triumph eventually!” said a shaman. Many others agreed with him. “Alright! We’ll settle this later.” said Thrall, and rubbed his head, as if he had a headache. That being a way to dismiss voting? The warriors all went to their posts and Thrall stepped down from the platform and spotted Samei. He walked over to her. “Good morning, daughter.” he greeted. Samei smiled. “Morning!” she greeted back and hugged him. “What was that meeting about?” Samei asked. “It was a meeting to vote whether we attack the undead or not. They’ve been terrorizing us for years now and we’re getting sick of it.” Plagued so fast? Thrall replied. Samei nodded.

Samei entered an Orcish burrow to get breakfast and saw Kaseem at the counter with Bakara. “What chu mean dere ain’t no more bread!” I could swear he meant mead. Kaseem cried at the chef over the counter. “I-I’m sorry, Kaseem. But the horde ate all the b-bread.” replied the frightened chef. “Good morning, gentlemen.” greeted Samei, breaking up the fight before it got ugly. Kaseem and Bakara looked towards Samei. “’’Ey, dere, Samei.” greeted Kaseem. Bakara waved. “What’s for breakfast?” asked Samei, looking over the counter. “Well, don’t chu expect to get toast. The author is toast, for one. Dese “chefs” never have any.” said Kaseem, glaring at the poor, frightened chef across the counter. Samei shrugged and dished up some eggs and bacon for herself. Typical orcish breakfast indeed. She stood and ate as she listened to Bakara and Kareem’s conversation. “So, do chu think the undead could defeat us if we go attack?” asked Kaseem. “With that Archimonde guy on their side, definitely.” Archimonde Guy. And Nathrezim Fawkes. Bakara replied. Samei finished her breakfast and put down her plate. “What do you think the result of the votes will be?” Samei asked. The both of them shrugged. “I don’t really care. Either way, we’re doomed.” said Bakara. “Why’s that?” asked Samei. “We die if we attack, we die if they attack.” he replied. “Ah.” said Samei. Intelligent. Kaseem was still arguing with the chef about bread and in the end, he got some rye slices instead.

After breakfast, the three of them took a walk through the woods. “So, what are you planning on doing today?” Samei asked. “Maybe we’ll visit the ogres in the forest and slay them.” replied Bakara. Wonderful entertainment indeed. “Alone?” Samei asked, surprised. “Sure! Why not?” Bakara exclaimed. Samei felt herself go pale. Bakara noticed she was shocked. “I was just kidding, Samei.” Samei glared at Bakara. They continued walking until they came to a spell book lying on the floor. Samei picked it up and noticed that it was signed by J. Proudmoore. Samei gasped. “Take a look at this.” she said and handed the book to Kaseem. He read through the book and read the title out loud. “Spells for de Archmage.” “That can only mean that this book belonged to none other than Jaina Proudmoore!” How ever did you know? Samei exclaimed and nearly fainted. “Where’s the Archmage then?” asked Bakara. They looked around the forest and heard voices from a camp and looked through the trees to reveal one ogre lord, two ogre magi and one ogre mauler sitting around a bound and gagged Jaina. Getting angsty. Samei gasped. “Should we help her?” She can help herself, I am certain. asked Bakara. “If we don’, who will? Attack!” cried Kaseem as he rushed into battle. Bakara and Samei followed him. Kaseem hurled spears at the ogre lord It’s sharp! as Bakara was slashing at the magi. However, Samei was using magic and cast Chain Lightning Calling that magic?! and hit all four of the ogres. Unfortunately, the tables With seats all around them? turned and Bakara, Samei and Kaseem were getting badly beat up by the ogres. As luck would have it, Grom and Thrall came rushing in and took care of the ogres. To the rescue! *fanfare* “Samei! What were you doing, fighting those ogres on your own?” Orc and troll don’t count. Thrall exclaimed. “I’m sorry, Father. We had to save Miss Jaina… Speaking of which…” Samei freed Jaina from the rope that bound her to a tree. “Here, you dropped this.” Samei said as she handed Jaina’s spell book to her. “Oh. Thank you.” Jaina said, gratefully. “I must return to Andorhal. Thank you for your assistance!” Short thank you as for saving her life. *pause*ANDORHAL?!

After the “Jaina” incident, *is in the “Mary Sue” incident* Samei, Bakara and Kaseem were out at the park all day, talking about the undead legion. That night, Thrall was working on the table Seats, tables… some new fetish? outside, counting the votes. “Father?” said Samei. Thrall was startled by his daughter. “It seems we’ll stay home and build up our forces while we wait for the undead to attack.” he said. “I suppose it’s for the better.” she said, and smiled. “Where’s Grom?” she asked. “I haven’t seen him for hours.” “He’s inside the burrow, keeping the peace.” Thrall replied. Samei nodded and entered the burrow. Surprised that the horde didn’t tear Grom apart yet, Is that really so shocking? she took a seat for dinner. Grom smiled at her. “Where’s Thrall?” he asked. “He’s outside, counting votes.” Samei replied. Grom nodded. Thrall entered the burrow and took a seat. “Let the feasting begin!” he said. Everyone started packing away the food like the night before. Samei ate slowly, staring at them all. After dinner, Thrall decided to sleep early in order to pack in some more energy for the next day. Grom said he’d keep an eye on everything until everyone falls asleep. Samei wasn’t tired yet and sat on a chair outside, watching the stars to pass the time. She then felt a warm hand on her cold shoulder. It was Bakara. “You’re cold. You should go inside.” he said. “I know. I’m used to the cold.” said Samei. Bakara smiled and insisted that she went inside. Samei finally agreed and said she was tired anyway. She said goodnight to her father and uncle Uncle Grommy? and went to bed.

The next morning, Samei felt ready for anything. She looked for Bakara and Kaseem and found them in a Beastiary, watching the Kodo Beasts train. “Are they planning to attack?” asked Samei. “No, I don’t think so.” replied Bakara. Kaseem shrugged. “Then… never mind.” Samei said and rolled her eyes. They continued watching the Kodo Beasts train for battle. After twenty minutes, Bakara decided to do something else. He was bored. Watching Kodos can indeed get boring. He went though the training process several times before. Samei followed him and Kaseem. “Gentlemen, I’d like to visit my home town.” she said. “And where be dat?” asked Kaseem. Samei took a deep breath. “Quel’Thalas. I grew up among the high elves and lived in a night elven household.” I beg your pardon? Samei replied. Both Bakara and Kaseem were surprised. “Among de elves…” Kaseem said, still shocked. “Sure, I’ll go.” Bakara said, happily. Kaseem shrugged. “Egh, sure.” he agreed. Samei entered Thralls hut. “Hello, Father.” she said. Thrall looked over towards her. He smiled. “Greetings, Samei.” he replied. “Father? May my friends and I pay a visit to Quel’Thalas?” Samei asked. Thrall stood up. “Alone?” Learn to count… he asked. “How else?” Samei asked. “We’ll be on call, then.” Thrall said, taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Father.” she said and hugged him.

After packing food and other supplies, the trio got ready to go. It was a far journey. Young Far Seer, Raider and Troll Headhunter set off on two wolves. Bakara and Kaseem rode on one wolf, Samei on the other. The first day was easy, they left the encampment and traveled far, breaking every now and then to eat. The second day it was a bit harder. The third day, they arrived at Quel’Thalas. … Paddleback? “Finally! We’re here!” cried Samei. She dismounted her wolf and started climbing the hill. Bakara and Kaseem followed. After reaching the top of the hill, they found a very shocked Samei. Samei stared at Quel’Thalas, which lay in ruins. Elven farms, burned to dust. Walls and gates, blown up to splinters and bricks. Dead corpses lay inside the boundaries of the ruined village. Tears filled Samei’s eyes. She sat on the boulder behind her and looked towards the ground. “I can’t believe it. Who would be so cruel and evil to destroy this beautiful village?” The Empire troops. she asked herself in despair. Bakara stood in front of her and lifted up her chin. “We can help them. There must be one or two more workers and elves to build up the city once again.” Village, city, what’s the difference? he said. Samei’s mood was slightly brightened. Suddenly, they heard a horse galloping across the hard dirt ground, followed my many other noises. “For the lich king!” cried Arthas, the Death Knight. Ooh! Kaseem mounted a wolf and beckoned Bakara and Samei. “Climb on de wolves so we can go.” he said. Bakara and Samei both mounted their wolves and traveled up the steep hill once again. Samei’s wolf couldn’t handle it any longer and started weakening. Samei fell off her wolf who continued up the hill to follow the others. Clumsy elven girl. Bakara noticed this and told Kaseem to secure the wolf and ride it back home. He then went back for Samei. “Get on!” he cried. “No. Go on without me. It’s me they want.” How do you know? she said. “How do you know?” Told you. Bakara asked. “Trust me! I know. What’s Khadgar got to do with it? They want my father. Since when? They’ll surely use me as bait. Go home and warn him!” Samei told him. “But—““I’ll be fine. Now, go!” she said. Bakara nodded once and set off, regretting leaving Samei in the hands of the undead. A ghoul bound her up with rope and gagged her, the ghoul carried her to the undead base camp. The ghoul dropped her in front of Arthas. “You’ll make excellent bait for the Orcish Warchief, won’t you?” Good far seer she is. he said, gave an evil grin. “Take her to the Slaughterhouse and let the abominations take “care” of her.” he ordered. Kinky.

Meanwhile, Kaseem and Bakara arrived at the Orc encampment a day later, without breaking to eat. Calculating: on heir way to Quel’Thalas they have been eating for a total of two days. They dismounted their wolves and ran to Thralls hut. Hoot. “Warchief! While at Quel’Thalas, we were ambushed by the undead. They took Samei!” Bakara cried. Boo hoo. “The undead! I should never have let her go. Now look what has happened…” Thrall said, blaming himself. “Ready the forces so we may go and retrieve Samei.” Orcish retriever? Newdog?“There’s something you may want to know about the undead. They’re only using Samei as bait to get to you.” Bakara stated. “I don’t care. I have to save my daughter, no matter what. Bold. Go and ready the horde, Raider.” he said. “Yes, Warchief.” Bakara replied and exit the hut to assemble the horde. After acquiring many warriors, Thrall led the army, including Kaseem and Bakara, to Quel’Thalas and then to the undead base. The horde started attacking the undead warriors and Thrall charged right for Arthas. “How could you think of taking captive one so innocent, such as my daughter!” … Must I comment? Thrall asked, filled with rage. “Simple! I’m Arthas, the death knight!” Arthas replied with evil joy. Joyful, joyful, we adore thee… Meanwhile, Bakara was interrogating a Necromancer. Right before Arthas? “Where is she?” he asked, furious. “S-She’s in the Slaughterhouse, right o-over th-there!” replied the frightened Necromancer. Bakara let go of him and headed straight for the Slaughterhouse. He barged in with rage and slay the abominations. Kali slay bad mans. He noticed Samei trapped in a streching rack. She opened her eyes and noticed Bakara. "Hello. How goes my father?" she asked, smiling. She’s into SM? Bakara used his blade to somehow open the rack shackles and free her. He lifted her up and kissed her tenderly. Perfect moment.

Meanwhile, Thrall was still clashing weapons with Arthas. Arthas tried to deliver a blow with Frostmourne, but Thrall blocked it. "I summon the strength to banish this foul undead creature to the abyss, where it belongs!" Orcish paladin? And with a flashing light, Arthas dissapeared, never to be seen again. … Ahem? "At last, after all this time, this land is finally free of the undead's evil grasp." Thrall, you shock me.

Bakara exit the slaughter house, carrying Samei in his arms. He set her down and Samei ran towars her father and hugged him. "Father! You're alright!" she cried. "I'm just glad that you're safe." he replied. Thrall looked over to Bakara and smiled. "We should all be getting home now." Thrall said and started riding off. Samei and Bakara followed, each on their own wolf. "'Ey, mon! Wait for me!" Sure. Forget the poor troll.

Also, I KNOW that Grom Hellscream and Archmonde are dead. Just assume that they aren't when reading this fanfic. . Hmm… Let me see. Grom died after orcs left Lordaeron… Archimonde even later… Does she know she made an error even in the disclaimer?

What am I here for...

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 18:12:48 GMT

The answer is simple - time to stab those Azerothian Mary Sues! Expect an entry in Azersues soon!

amanounmei

What am I here for...